Here are a set of few questions that people ask me in my coaching sessions:
What is F.E.A.R?
How to conquer F.E.A.R.
Why We Fear the Unknown & how to overcome the fear of uncertainty
Is fear holding you back from achieving your goals?
Is Fear Holding YOU Back From the Things You Deserve?
How to overcome Fear of Rejection
Answers to all these questions you can get from my podcast
Let me start with some facts about Franklin D Roosevelt.
Franklin D Roosevelt was in Army, had polio, and was bedridden. His biggest fear was fire, because how will he get up, then after 7 years, he became mayor. After 10 years, he became president of the united states, and that too he became president when America was under tremendous fear of war. As FDR has overcome his fear, he was able to lead.
We have nothing to fear other than fear itself—-FDR
Seldom do we do the thing we fear, so we rarely discover whether or not our projection of disaster was accurate. When we don’t do something we are afraid of, we breathe a sigh of relief as though it actually would have taken place. “That was a close one!” we say, even though we never actually got close to anything but a string of our own negative thoughts.
Fear of Failure & Fear of success
Let me confess with you the kinds of fear I used to have a couple of decades back.
If you had been reading my blogs, e-mails, or been part of my sessions, you are aware that I am a school dropout, Now when I recollect, the reason for dropping out of school is my irrational fears.
There was a “voice of fear” & I was not finding a purpose for reading, and at a young age, do you think anybody gets the purpose?
So it was an excuse which I was giving to myself, and worst I believed this nonsense.
The reason I was giving this excuse was that I was not aware of “human emotion.”
I was having a fear of Rejection because if “I read and don’t bring good results parents & friends will reject me.”
I was having a “fear of regret,” that If I work hard and don’t get results I will regret the time I put into my studies.
That is quite funny when I see the current situation. The fear of regret is one of the significant reasons for people not taking the initiative because we believe that as there is no guarantee of success, why even attempt it.
I was having a “fear of uncertainty” & “fear of inadequacy,” in a nutshell, I was having a “fear of failure.”
The following sequence is what “The Fear Cycle” looks like:
Fear breeds inaction
Inaction breeds lack of Experience
Lack of experience breeds Ignorance
Ignorance breeds fear!
And it’s a vicious downward cycle. Fear breeds more fear.
CLARITY
Once I understood the “types of fear” and the “fear cycle,” I realized “I need to combat fear by taking a baby step.”
I realized I have to gain confidence in life, and “Lack of Confidence” was the major cause of the “aforementioned fears.”
ACTION PLAN
I realized that to combat fear; I need to listen to the “voice of fear” rather than suppressing it. Once I hear the “voice of fear” and understand that those are “irrational fears,” I can quickly get rid of the “fear of regret” & “fear of uncertainty.”
I took some “active step,” and whenever I was not feeling like doing something, I ask myself, am I not taking the initiative due to fear? Or is it not on my priority list?
Whenever I do this exercise with utmost honesty, the results I get are mind-blowing.
In 90% of the cases, it’s “fear of regret” & “fear of uncertainty” that was stopping me. The moment I realize this, I immediately started taking a baby step.
That eventually gave me confidence in life.
SUMMARY
Whether it is “Fear of Failure,” “fear of success,” or “fear of inadequacy,” we need to remember the acronym.
F.E.A.R (FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL)
So, we need a “battle plan” to have the proper “emotional response” during those “busy time.” As during the “clutch time,” “False Evidence” looks like “Real evidence.”
To program our brain for success, we need to give real evidence to our brain in advance.
My podcast of failing or a failure can help you get more on this subject.
Now Its Your Turn
I would like to know your “battle plan” to deal with your “anxieties with confidence.”
I would like to know what types of fear were creating a “Lack of Confidence” in you and how you overcame those irrational fears?
And finally, If you want any help to remove your “fear of success,” “fear of regret,” “fear of inadequacy” reach out to me @ bijay@pim.org.in