Is pandemic ruining your marriage?
Is pandemic ruining your marriage?

Is pandemic ruining your marriage?

What is the problem?

“In August of 2020, (divorcemag.com) website traffic reached an all-time high with 365,000 visits. This was a 90% increase over March 2020,” says Martha Chan, V.P. of marketing at Divorce Marketing Group.

Chan also stated that in the past 12 months, DivorceMag received over 2.8 million visits.

A website that provides legal documents reported a 34 percent increase in divorce agreements during the pandemic, compared to the same period last year. 

A survey done by a relationship site found that 31% of couples have stressful relationships due to pandemics.

A separate survey of 300 couples, by demographic tool Lucid, found that Arguments have increased among 41% of couples & 35% more increase in divorce rates.

Why this problem?

Before covid-19 pandemic, couples used to be married only for 20-30 hrs per week because they were engaged in many other activities in life, and their lives used to have many different people, their source of happiness was not dependent upon spouse alone.

So the differences that were manageable before the covid-19 pandemic started looking like bad habits.

Another cause of the problem is lack of empathy: After coaching 1000’s couples in their marriage, I found a two-fold problem with empathy. 

In the survey done in one of my workshop, I found that 64.9% couples struggle in empathetic listening.

On top of that, most couples don’t even know their personality, and due to the lack of empathetic listening, they rarely come to know their spouses’ requirements.

So, with these many major stressor, the mental health in the emotional journey started deteriorating, and it also started impacting the sex life of the couples.

Based on the data provided by the marriage researcher, Sex life plays a vital role in keeping that spark alive in a couple’s life.

When sex life is impacted in marriage, it creates marital strife, emotional turbulence, and the quality of life deteriorates, and all standard prescriptions start failing. Which eventually reduces the age of the marriage. And the marriage goes on the toss.

These all combinedly become the cause of the increased divorce rate.

What is the solution?

1) Don’t feel bad about feeling bad

Beating yourself up for feeling bad about feeling bad is counterproductive, said Iris Mauss, an associate professor of psychology at Berkeley.

2) Do your personality assessment

Know yourself to grow yourself, and to know yourself “Career Impact assessment,” Done by “Peak Impact Mentorship” is an ultimate solution because you come to know 7 Major parameters about yourself. That itself can reduce your 50% stress in life.

3) Start sharing the vision of long-term relationships that you had when you got married. 

In the survey done in one of my workshop I found that 75% couples only discuss stress rather then sharing vision.

In the vision segment, be intentional to visualize your bright future.

Every marriage goes through these rough patches.

Talk transparently about your needs, even on a sensitive topic like sex life.

4) Don’t assume anything in communication.

The assumption is the mother of all confusions. In the survey done in one of my workshops, I found that 64.9% of couples struggle in empathetic listening.

Attend a 12-week effective communication skill workshop conducted by “Peak Impact Mentorship.”

5) Follow the 10:1 ratio of appreciation Vs. Mild feedback

What I mean by this is before you give one mild feedback, make sure you have appreciated 10 times

Now it’s your turn

The best way to solve a problem is to accept the problem and solve them.

Let’s go to the first step and why not share your situation, and how relevant is this solution in your life.

If you want more information or detail, reach out to me @ bijay@pim.org.in or WhatsApp me @ +917019253453.

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